I don’t really like compliments, but today and yesterday have been the days of people complimenting me and it’s kinda weird. It makes me feel like something might be ready to crash all around me.

My manager told me that when I’m not running the shift she says, “where’s mellony and why isn’t she running the shift!?” She told me that I’ve grown so much in the last 3 months. She also said she wants me running the store when she’s gone in a few weeks…wtf?! She even gave me a hug. It’s really cool, but very scary!

When I came in this morning, Heath told me I looked good and my shirt matched my cheery personality. Lmao

Melanie told me that she wishes I was the store manager because I’m approachable and I’m very nice.

Art came in with his dog and insisted I make his drink.

Then the guy telling me he was “just looking at my legs”! Lolololol

Liv and I are going drinking next week…you have been warned.

I love this woman!! I will truly miss her when I move.

if I ever get in trouble at work, she will be involved. She brings out the crazy in me…

So, yeah, that’s cool.

And that if I sent them that video, they would be smiling ear to ear.

That’s a good start to the day.

Vince, you’ve been my friend since 2012 when we met on Tumblr. You stuck around through my darkest points and the Shane debacle. You deserve a Medal of Honor. I’m so glad you’re on the mend from your cancer and everything is going well with your marriage. You truly deserve all the happiness in the world.

You’ve got have something better to do with your time. 😉😉😉

Well, it’s 100% official. I’m going back to Portland September 20-27. I’m planning on staying at least 3 days in Washington because there’s 3 different places I want to visit there. I’ll have to find a place to stay…

Liv is my fave person to work with. I was daydreaming all day, and every time she caught me she’d say, “Mellony, get out of your head.”

She frustrates me because she gives me hope about certain things in my life. I don’t want hope, that always ends bad.

I’m talking to my District Manager regarding transferring to a store in the Pacific Northwest. I want to be out of this place by the end of next summer, if not sooner.

I didn’t sleep well last night…

Snoqualmie Falls

Deception Pass

Cape Disappointment State Park

I’ll need at least 3 days in Washington. I’ll have to find a place to stay.

Apply for that job

Date that person

Buy that plane ticket

Move to that city

Do all the things that scare you, because they’re worth it…

So so bad

I love over thinking. Wtf?

I’ll probably end up deleting most of this…

Today is my moms 77th birthday. And no matter what i do, my phone says, “call mom. Birthday found in contacts.” Feeling really down and now the stupid overthinking will make me feel insecure all day!

😡😡😡😡😡😡

I woke up and my whole body felt like jello, that lovely feeling of impending doom and anxiety…I really wish I had someone to tell all this to. It’s days like today I wish I was still taking medication. 100 Xanax sound good right about now. I know this will pass and I’ll feel better later today, tomorrow, or in a few days, but it’s just riding this out in the moment is hard.

Yeah, this is definitely getting deleted

Anxiety level today…can’t listen to music, eat, and definitely won’t be drinking coffee

my scale says I’m back to my pre vacation weight but my pants tell me something different…grrr

Liv and Nicole keep asking me if he’s going to ask me to be his girl friend…Jason keeps asking me. Guys, do adults even ask each other to be boyfriend/girlfriend??? I don’t know the answer to either question we’ll just have to wait and see what the cards have in store…