I’ve changed a lot over the last 9 months. I gained a lot of perspective and confidence and I can honestly say I do not feel like you cared very much about me then, I was just a passing fancy, and I don’t believe for a second you give one shit about me now. There are 2 things that make me believe this, the first one is when you called me after reading my blog. Your first reaction was to clear your name, which by the way was not trashed. Your name was never mentioned and neither was mine. You didn’t care that I was hurting, all you cared about was you and your feelings. You never even apologized, yet I bent over backwards to apologize. The second thing that makes me think you never cared was your comment, “you can trust that people will do what’s in their best interest.” That’s exactly what you did. Instead of being upfront with me and telling me you weren’t sure how you felt in July, you were silent because you wanted all the sexting to continue. You didn’t think about my feelings at all. You can fool Jamie with your “I’m really sad things didn’t work out” bullshit, but I’m not fooled.

Jason V told me that you said at the end of one of your podcasts that you can’t keep women. He insisted you were talking about me. Lol, I know you weren’t though. Well maybe if you were a little more genuine with your feelings, things might turn out different for you.

You really fucked up by letting me go, you can ask just about any of our mutual friends who know about this…there’s not very many women around that would do the things for you that I would have. Jason saw your last comment on my post and he told me you were a jackass for acting like that.

I get the speaking invitation

I just got a call from my manger telling me that since I’m moving and leaving the store, she just doesn’t want to be there anymore since she’ll have no one to rely on. She put in her notice today.

The stores in Missouri are fighting over who gets to have me in their store.

And somehow, despite having a huge rent payment every month, I have extra money to move back to Missouri with…

I’ve got 2 guys trying to get me to run away with them.

Seriously, the worlds going to end right?

I love Portland, but the old Portland. Not the Portland that still has us locked down until July. My son still can’t play basketball anywhere. School isn’t going to have PE or anything he likes. Also, our gov has decided that there will be no concerts, mass gatherings until there’s a vaccine.

Plus riots are still going on and destroying the city and I don’t think I want to be here when the election rolls around. If trump gets re-elected the city will probably burn to the ground. The National Guard has helicopters circling the city at all times.

My job has stopped all promotions and has permanently closed at least 5 stores in the area, that means there’s at least 6 managers without a store. I don’t see a lot of movement for me. That means I’ll have to continue to work two jobs to support ben and me.

If I’m going to be miserable, I might as well be around my family.

Lots of graffiti, some broken windows still, and all the government buildings are fenced off. It’s not as bad as I thought. There’s no curfew tonight…we’ll see how things progress.