Parquet Courts

Borrowed Time

I’ll miss her so much!

She spent the whole time I was processing researching salons in Portland for me. I love her.

I haven’t cut since July. I had a relapse one time in late July, maybe early August. I cut myself 3 times on my leg.

He knows I’m moving. Everyday he tells me he loves me. It freaks me out and I hate it.

I want nothing from him. He tries to buy me things and i tell him no. He tried to pay for my first months rent. I said NO!!!

He bought me a present one day, a scarf! The thought was nice, but it proves he still knows nothing about me. I’ve NEVER worn scarves EVER! He used to buy me weird jewelry when we were married. I NEVER wear jewelry either. The only thing I’ve ever worn consistently is the locket with my moms ashes in it.

He gets on his knees and cries with his head in my lap. It’s so uncomfortable.

And how I had friends up in the Portland area and had a “relationship” with a guy in Washington previously. His words, “oh maybe you can rekindle that?” I just laughed and said, “well it’s obvious he wants nothing to do with me, so probably not.”

It’ll be 4 weeks on Thursday, yeah, he’s never talking to me again. He should have just been straightforward, but he was anything but that. All of his answers were vague and elusive.

I would still be friends with him.

I talked about leaving the city and he got genuinely sad. And he gave me the best hug EVER! Then we found out he had my wrong number and showed me a text he sent me after my mom died.

He said I was one tough sonofabitch and I can handle anything. It was so sweet. I almost cried. I love that guy. ❤️❤️

Not counting my hourly wage!

He told me I was a force to be reckoned with. He said I’m pretty impressive and a bit intimidating. I’ve accomplished my huge goal in a few months. That’s AMAZING! He said not many people have the balls to pick up, sell everything, and move half way across the country.