October | 2019 | novacaineforthesoul

I didn’t trash you online, my name and your name weren’t mentioned. How were you trashed? You identified with the post because you felt guilty for what you did.

After you read the posts, you called me. And you called me not because you wanted to see if I was ok, but to clear your name. I wrote in those posts how hurt I was, but you weren’t concerned about that at all. You were ONLY concerned about how YOU looked. You called me to make me look like the bad guy, gaslighting at its finest. You never even really apologized, but you did ask me to write a retraction.

Then you proceeded to remind me 3 separate times in a week, telling me I betrayed your trust. I betrayed your trust?! HA!!! I only talked about my feelings which were all valid. If you don’t like the way that made you look, maybe you should do some self introspection.

When I asked you if I’d ever get your trust back, your response of, “who knows what the future holds, but it probably can be.” tells me all I need to know. You want to hold it over my head indefinitely until you magnanimously forgive me. Fuck that shit! Someone who really cared about the friendship would forgive and forget, or say something like, you know what you hurt me, but i care about our relationship so we can work this out.

If you honestly didn’t know how you felt in July, you should have said something the multiple times i let you know my feelings. I’m sure you didn’t though because you were afraid all the sexting would stop.

I should have listened when your friend told me in April not to expect anything from you, and then again in July when he told me you were leading me on. Apparently you have a history of doing this to women. You probably did it to that Christian girl you went on walks with.

Vince was right. It’s so obvious now. You told me before that I can trust that people will do what’s best for them. I should have listened to that. That’s exactly what you did. You had no concern for anyone else.

I think you would have let it carry on if I hadn’t asked if you see a future for us. In the restaurant you acted surprised when I said things were going to drastically change for us after you move.

One of the last thing’s you said to me was pretty telling too. You asked me to rate the taste of your cum, not hey I’m so glad you came or something heartfelt and nice. It just shows me that everything has to be about you. And you obviously knew how you felt about me when you dropped me off at the bus stop, but yet you still made out with me before i left. I knew things were over by then anyway just by the way you acted towards me the previous couple days.

I was going to break things off anyway if there wasn’t some sort of commitment made in sept. I had made that deadline with my counselor, Vince, and Joey. So I knew this was coming. I just didn’t think I’d feel so hurt by it. But I guess when you invest 9 months of your life into someone, especially someone who you realize had very little feelings towards you, there’s bound to be some negative repercussions.