You called the beginning of our relationship flirting.  You might flirt by sexting and telling the other person that you love them, but I don’t flirt like that.  I meant it when I told you I loved you, I meant it when I said I wanted to be near you.  What I felt was real, but you were just flirting and that makes me think everything you’ve ever said to me was just a joke or flirting.  You diminished the first year to silly games when I thought you were serious.  How can I trust anything you say to me when a few months down the road you’re going to take it back by saying you were only kidding or just flirting?

So, I’m really starting to regret having my surgery.  I’m sick of the way I have to eat now. There’s always pain involved.  I have a constant stomach ache now.  I can hardly eat or drink.  I think I eat maybe 400 calories a day and drink 32oz of water a day.  I’m weak and exhausted.  I go back to my doctor on Tuesday.  I’ll talk to him about it then.

I figured out why I had crazy legs.  I was out of my Paxil for at least a week, and I’m assuming it was withdrawal symptoms.  I’ve been back on it for a few days now and my legs are back to normal.

I am feeling a bit depressed, I’m not sure I can live my life like this.